Houston, You Have A Problem…Me.

I wanted to let everyone know, especially the folks in Houston, how much I appreciate the support and encouragement over the last few weeks and months.

I have just accepted a job with 1560 The Game in Houston and couldn’t be more excited about it. My first show will be September 7th and I am in the process of putting together the guest list for the first week's worth of shows. Listen here for the announcement on the Sean and John Show.

I will be hosting from 1-3 CDT, (OK, that felt weird, first CDT mention in my life) right before my good friends Sean Pendergast and John Harris. I make no promises on how badly I might damage their brand!

I will continue to update the blog, continue to post my shows online and try to make everyone laugh and/or think once or twice a day.

Thanks to everyone who has offered me their support, I am incredibly grateful.

Danny Granger Says Euros Smell #NBA

Congratulations to Pacers forward Danny Ranger for his willingness to pick up the ‘Ugly American’ torch and carry it proudly through the streets of Istanbul, Turkey.

Granger went with the very creative, and very hilarious ‘Euros smell’ tweet.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe. I mean, who doesn’t like a good, “you smell” attack, but do we really need to do it when you are representing Team USA?

Then again, asking Danny Granger to use his better judgment might be asking a little too much. This is the same guy who wanted to build a Bat Cave. Not a bat cave, a Bat Cave; the kind that Batman works in. He wants to spend his money on building a superhero lounge. Is Larry Bird going to build a Fortress of Solitude?

Here’s the deal. You stop saying people smell, and you can keep the Bat Cave. The Bat Cave only reflects poorly on you and your economic sense (or lack of it). The “All Euros Smell’ tweet makes everyone look bad.

Someone go ask him about the metric system, let’s see if we can get really ugly!

Manny, Gone #MLB

Manny Ramirez is gone. Out of LA and on his way to Chicago.

The biggest surprise is the simple fact that this isn’t a surprise at all. I don’t know if there was a single person, from ownership, to the players, to the media, to the fans, to Manny himself, who didn’t think that it was going to end exactly the way that it did.

Manny quitting and leaving town with more bad memories than good.

The Dodgers got him for nothing, bought his “I want to help the team” act, gave him a fat deal, and started to sell wigs. Win-win-win.

Then he went Manny. Drug suspension, stopped hitting, stopped trying, got hurt, stopped trying, got hurt again, stopped hitting, stopped trying, stopped hitting, and started to sabotage the team, most notably by getting tossed in a game after seeing only one pitch.

Adios, Manny.

No hard feelings. Everyone knows your deal. You are what you are. A fantastic hitter, a Hall of Famer, a drug cheat, and quite possibly one of the game’s worst teammates. When you are going good, and getting what you want, you are a decent guy...kind of. When it goes bad, you hide, you stop talking, you quit and show your true colors.  You become the front runner you are at your core.  A 'me first' player who doesn't give a damn about winning baseball games, only getting paid.  It doesn't make you a bad guy (actually it does), it just makes you Manny Ramirez.

Anyone who musters up any anger or frustration about his stint in LA is either faking it or stupid. This was a lock. This was as certain as his bat slowing down after he stopped taking his birth control pills.

Enjoy Chicago Manny. No hard feelings from here in LA. Just don’t expect any warm ones either.

Friday FACTS #FACT

By Brian Beckner:

Remember, these are not one man’s opinion, but rather indisputable, iron clad, unassailable FACTS.

Scottie Pippen is having a statue of his effigy erected outside the United Center. Pippen is unattractive. FACT.

Statues never look like the actual person. FACT. Everyone is hoping that holds true with the Pippen statue. FACT.

Scottie Pippen would much rather have the cash equivalent of said statue.  FACT.  Scottie Pippen needs cash.  FACT.  Scottie Pippen never tipped more than 0%.  FACT.  'No Tippin' Scottie Pippen' is the best sports nickname ever.  FACT.

Scottie Pippen is attempting a real-life remake of Brewster's Millions, only this time it's funny.  FACT.

The biggest presence in the history of American soccer is finally making a return to the pitch. Wait, David Beckham has an injury? Who’s David Beckham again? He plays in America? Has this been confirmed? No one in America has ever heard of this Beckham character. FACT.

Calling the field the “pitch” is super lame. FACT.

We’re talking about a real American soccer superstar, a household name, a player whose visage adorns the bedroom walls of young soccer players from coast-to-coast. That’s right, New Mexico Lobos enforcer Elizabeth Lambert is back. FACT.

Elizabeth Lambert is a stone-cold sociopath. FACT.

Elizabeth Lambert is hott with two T’s. FACT.

Tiger Woods enjoys sex…A LOT. FACT. Sex rehab causes you to play terrible golf. FACT.

Writing nine-figure checks is a good way to get motivated. FACT.

The NFL fined Chad Ochocinco for tweeting during a game. What if this was to happen during the Super Bowl? That wouldn’t be a problem because Ochocinco will be watching that from his couch. FACT.

Things Chad Ochocinco will never be fined for: winning a Super Bowl ring, going to the Hall of Fame and being compelling in any way. His act was tired when it was called the Icky Shuffle. FACT.

If Chad Ochocinco were better at football he wouldn’t be sideline tweeting. FACT. If Chad Ochocinco weren’t sideline tweeting, he’d be better at football. FACT.

'Ochocinco' is a very stupid name.  FFFAAAYYYCCCTTT.

Carson Palmer deserves a medal. FACT. The Bengals have cool helmets. FACT.

There used to be a sport called “boxing.” FACT.

The state of Texas just cleared the way for boxer/criminal Antonio Margarito to get throttled by Manny Pacquiao at Texas Stadium. How ’bout them Cowboys! FACT.  Jerry Jones has a team worth over $1 billion and still got a dime store face lift.  FACT.  This amuses me.  FACT.

The last time Antonio Margarito stepped into the ring it was with a roll of dimes in each glove. FACT.

Antonio Margarito should be in prison. FACT.

Boxing is more scripted than professional wrestling. FACT. We’re totally buying the pay-per-view. FACT.

James Toney used to be a skinny boxer.  FACT.  James Toney became a fat boxer.  FACT.  James Toney is now a fat MMA fighter and is about to get tuned up by Randy Couture.  FACT.

MMA is the favorite sport of small, angry, white guys in Ed Hardy hats and medium Affliction t-shirts.  FACT.

The University of North Carolina football team may have had tutors write their term papers. FACT. No D-I football player has ever written their own term paper. FACT.

UNC has a football team. FACT?

Strasburg Will Get Carved, Dibble Is An Ass #MLB

Even if you aren’t a Washington Nationals fan, news of pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg’s torn elbow ligament and his impending surgery is a blow.

Strasburg looked to be a once-in-a-generation flamethrower, a guy who was going to make All-Star games for the next 10 years; win 18+ a year, and punchout out 12 guys a night. Now, all of that is up in the air. If you like baseball, this sucks.

Yes, guys come back from Tommy John surgery, and there is even an argument that guys come back better than before after having the procedure. Maybe. I don‘t think he needs to be much better, but oh well.

This shouldn’t be an ‘I told you so’ moment. It shouldn’t be, but it is. This is exactly why all the hype, the hysteria and the insanity surrounding his arrival was not only premature, but stupid. More guys get hurt than don’t. More players flame in spectacular fashion than turn out to be the next Nolan Ryan or Tom Seaver. There’s a reason we all remember Seaver and Ryan as well as we do and scratch our heads at names like Todd Van Poppel, Brien Taylor and Mark Prior. There are a lot more Dave Zancanaros than there are Nolan Ryans.

And of course, the final wrinkle in this entire Strasburg mess is the moron Rob Dibble. Dibble, best known for having a giant mouth and small brain, was calling Strasburg a puss after he left the game recently.

"Okay, you throw a pitch, it bothers your arm, and you immediately call out the manager and the trainer? Suck it up, kid. This is your profession. You chose to be a baseball player. You can't have the cavalry come in and save your butt every time you feel a little stiff shoulder, sore elbow.

That’s why he’s a jackass and not a doctor.

If Dibble weren’t Dibble, and didn’t have an IQ right around room temperature, he would be digging a hole right now considering how stupid those comments were.

Maybe that’s the very small silver lining in an otherwise enormous dark cloud; that Rob Dibble has been confirmed as one of the dumbest people in baseball. Again.