Fat Parents Mutilating Fat Children #willeat

By Brian Beckner:

The fat Today show weatherman, the fat judge on American Idol, Ozzy Osbourne’s once fat wife and countless other current and former fatties are ignoring all of that pesky exercise and annoying nutrition and are instead opting to be filleted as a form of weight control. And really who, given the option, wouldn’t choose a life-threatening medical procedure over moderate regular exercise and a sensible diet? Sure, there are those for whom a lifetime of gluttonous consumption can only be remedied with a very large scalpel, an industrial strength rubber band and lots and lots of yarn, but shouldn’t a gut-wrenching (hey oh!) procedure like this be a last resort for people that have tried everything but simply cannot push away from the table?

Of course that’s not the case. Since the advent of this surgery it has suddenly become fashionable to get gutted. A ten minute drive through Los Angeles means exposure to multiple billboards marketing stomach removal for fatties. At what point are the doctors culpable for over selling this “treatment?”

Surely these “doctors” are not overstepping their ethical boundaries by performing a drastic remedy on people that really just need a few hours on the treadmill? Modern medicine holds itself to a higher standard than wrenching or removing the stomach of anyone with a mild cake addiction, right? At least we can be comforted in knowing that this drastic procedure is only preformed when medically necessary. No doctor worth his Hippocratic Oath would perform such a procedure unless it meant life or death. Unfortunately the stomach removal quacks, no doubt with giant dollar signs in their eyes, have decided it’s time to start mutilating chubby kids.

From the LA Times:

Gastric banding surgery appears to be significantly more effective than lifestyle interventions in helping severely obese teenagers lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, a new study suggests.

In the U.S., the banding procedure is available to adolescents only through research studies. It involves placing an adjustable device on the upper part of the stomach to make a pouch that allows only small amounts of food, creating feelings of fullness sooner.

With more evidence of the health benefits of gastric bypass surgery, some doctors hope the Food and Drug Administration will approve the band for adolescents.

So cutting kids open and tying off their stomachs results in weight loss? Why not just staple their mouths closed? And really what parent doesn’t beam with pride at the thought of their youngster getting their belly lanced? Is this even a real story? What does the legitimate medical community have to say about these “doctors?”

A note to fat parents of fat children: you have failed. Relinquish your parental rights before you further damage your children. Your kids are overweight because you are horrible people. It is your job to teach your children how to live a healthy lifestyle. Cheeseburger is not a food group. Video games are not exercise. Do you remember Little League? It’s still available. Buy your kid a skateboard. Take them outside. In a perfect world removing your child’s stomach would result in parent and “physician” incarceration. In this one, it’s called medicine.

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