2010 American League West Preview #MLB

By Brian Beckner:

Spring training baseball is popping off and while there are literally only three or four teams that even have a remote opportunity to win the World Series, it’s fun to acquiesce to delusion and preview them all as though they do in fact have a chance.

Has anyone noticed that this division has only four teams? And one of those is Texas?

Los Angeles Angels – No matter what they say the Angels have an LA inferiority complex. And now despite the fact that the Angels are a better organization with a better owner, and a strong manager (and legendary Dodger) they still find themselves toiling in perpetual second fiddledom, which is either pathetic or hilarious depending on your perspective. This year they signed Hideki Matsui because while they trail the Dodgers in every measure of success, no team can touch them in the DH with the most unsightly earlobes contest. The Angels are trying to retool on the fly after losing John Lackey, Chone Figgins and Grandpa Vlad in the off-season. Despite a lackluster off-season the Angels still probably have the personnel to contend for a pennant. And while Mike Scioscia is a great leader, as a Dodger he could actually fit into a jersey.

Texas Rangers – The Rangers, as usual, can’t pitch. Of course, who could in the 800 degree Texas heat? What they can do, what they can always do, is hit. This year they signed Vladimir Guerrero who moves like a wounded zebra but still occasionally hits balls 500 feet. Does 80 pounds of pine tar actually improve bat speed? Are the Rangers going to win the World Series? No. Are the Rangers going to win the AL West? No. Are the Rangers going to start the season with a shortstop named Elvis? Hell yes.

Seattle Mariners – The Mariners started the off-season with the gift of Kenji Johjima walking away from a $16 million guarantee. Of course fresh from that windfall they immediately guaranteed someone called Chone Figgins $36 million. You know it was a weak free agent class when Chone Figgins is considered a prize. On a side note: doesn’t Chone Figgins sound like an old-school social disease? “How was your trip to the Philippines?” “It was great, but I picked up a wicked case of the chone figgins!” In what has to be considered the boldest move of the off-season, the Mariners snatched up Cliff Lee when the Phillies upgraded to Roy Halladay. Lee coupled with Felix Hernandez gives the Mariners a scary left-right combination that immediately makes them pennant contenders, assuming no one comes down with a case of chone figgins.

Oakland Athletics – Apparently “Moneyball” means fielding a team with like three players anyone has heard of. That’s assuming you’ve heard of Jack Cust? He’s the one with all the strike outs. The A’s unfortunately play in an antiquated football stadium and no amount of on base percentage can fix a team without any revenue. Billy Beane, whatever you think of his philosophy, continues to do a lot with a little. But really who wouldn’t look good in comparison to the other dopes currently pulling checks as MLB GMs? Beane’s rabbit in the hat this season is some dude that used to be Ben Sheets. Beane gambled on damaged goods no doubt thinking he’ll be able to spin him into a couple of prospects mid-season. For Beane’s sake let’s hope Sheets returns to form, because let’s face it the next Scott Hatteberg is not walking through that door.

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