Gilbert Arenas is Very, Very Stupid #NBA

Gilbert Arenas, the Wizards star who isn’t playing ball because he pulled a gun on a teammate and then joked about it forcing the commissioner of the league to suspend him for the season, is a complete idiot.

How do I know? Because Gil basically goes out of his way to prove it everytime he opens his mouth. These are just some of the idiotic tidbits from an upcoming article he gave to Esquire magazine.

For openers, he says that he failed to use “longevity thinking” before drawing down on teammate Javaris Crittendon. Longevity thinking? I can’t even begin to decipher what that means. Really, I can’t. Is that Gil-speak for ‘don’t pull guns on teammates’? Who knows.

During another portion of the piece, he talks about besmirching the legacy of dead Wiz owner Abe Pollin.

"I have a painting of him in my garage. I just walk by it with my head down," Arenas said. "I called Mrs. Pollin and said, 'If Abe was still with us, I would've had to talk to him, so I'm gonna give you the same respect. I want to say sorry to you. I deserve to be punished. I'll do everything it takes to get back your husband's respect."'

OK, who wants to take a crack at that? How many things are wrong with that? You honor the man who made you a multi-millionaire by hanging a portrait of him in your garage? Right next to the Pennzoil sign and the lawnmower? Do you lean the rake and the weedwhacker up against the portrait, or do you have too much respect for the guy? The garage?

Oh, and you do know he’s dead, right? Hard to “win back his respect” while he is rotting in a box or stuffed into an urn or however he decided to go out.

Arenas also says that at one point he owned 500 guns. 500! That’s about 499 too many for most people. He says he bought the majority of his 500 guns from an elderly man’s World War I collection and that he placed all but four of the guns in storage when he started collecting. That’s smart. Because we all know that only four guns can't kill a kid. You need a lot more than four guns to have a tragic accident. Not to mention that Gil takes gun safety seriously. That’s why he pulled one on his teammate as a joke. That’s safe, right? Where the hell do you keep 500 guns? Do you keep the Gatling gun in the vegetable crisper? The Uzi under the changing table?

The kicker was Arenas’s take on Tiger Woods being a bad guy.

"Say it's all true," Arenas said. "At the end of the day, that's not the reason I love Tiger. I got three Tiger Woods games for my Xbox just in case one gets scratched. On the cover, it doesn't have him walking next to his wife. It just has Tiger Woods, hitting shots."

Oh, OK. Thanks for clearing that up Agent Moron. A grown man having three copies of the same video game is actually more infuriating than a grown man eating candy for all his meals, (see Rose, Derrick). Two copies isn’t enough? In the event copy #1 goes down, couldn’t you play the back-up disc on the way to Best Buy to pick up another.

Gilbert Arenas is a idiot. He didn’t get it while playing cops and robbers with his teammates, and he doesn’t get it now.

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