Friday FACTS. #fact

Facts on a Friday. Remember, these are not one man’s opinion, but rather indisputable, iron clad, unassailable FACTS.

Minnesota Timberwolves GM, David Kahn defended his decision to trade for Michael Beasley by saying, "He's a very young and immature kid who smoked too much marijuana and has told me that he's not smoking anymore, and I told him that I would trust him as long as that was the case." FACT. Well good, as long as he told you he is done smoking weed, that should be good enough. I look forward to Beasley’s next Twitter suicide note and Kahn’s inevitable firing. FACT.

Players in the NBA looooove to smoke weed. FACT.

Former Dallas Cowboys coach, Jimmy Johnson will be a contestant on Survivor. FACT. I once used a urinal next to Jimmy Johnson, and watched as he meticulously fixed his hair while urinating. FACT. This encounter is in my all-time Top Five celebrity encounters list. FACT.

Alabama head coach, Nick Saban compared NFL agents to ‘pimps’. FACT. Nick Saban uses cheap talent, abuses their bodies until they can’t be used anymore, keeps all the profits for himself, tells his ‘employees’ that he is doing them all a favor and they should be grateful for his generosity, and turns and burns the product every couple of years in favor of new fresh meat. Saban is more of a pimp than an NFL agent will ever be. FACT.

MLB teams are wary of making a deal for Prince Fielder for fear that his agent, Scott Boras won’t allow Fielder to sign a long term extension. FACT. Prince Fielder is obese and is well on his way to being Mo Vaughn, only with fewer trips to the strip joint. FACT.

The McCourts continue to be the most reprehensible people in southern California. FACT. Kobe Bryant lives in southern California. FACT.

Mike Garrett is out as USC athletic director and has been replaced by Pat Haden. FACT. The clock has officially started on Lane Kiffin before he has even coached his first game. FACT. Garrett would have let Kiffin be Kiffin, grease and all. Haden won’t. FACT.

Chris Paul is unhappy in New Orleans and wants to be traded to a contending team. FACT. NBA players teaming up and/or demanding trades to teams that include their friends is very stupid and very bad for the league. FACT. I blame LeBron James and ‘taking his talent to South Beach’ for this.

If, when deciding where to go to dinner, you have ever uttered the phrase, “Let’s go to Applebees,” we can never be friends. FACT.

Juan Samuel is the manager of the Baltimore Orioles. FACT. I didn’t even know that Juan Samuel was still alive, much less managing in the big leagues. FACT. The Orioles are a MLB team in name only. FACT.

Starbucks coffee does things to me that I consider unpleasant. FACT.

MLB will begin testing for HGH in the minor leagues. FACT. It will have zero impact on HGH use in the major leagues. FACT. Players will always cheat. FACT.

Notre Dame and Miami will begin playing each other in college football again in 2012, after a 22 year break in the rivalry. FACT. It won’t be nearly as entertaining as the ‘Catholics V. Convicts’ games of the late 1980’s. FACT. Neither team is as good or as relevant, and Luther Campbell doesn’t have a sideline pass and a bag full of cash anymore. FACT. The 1980's Miami Hurricanes were a once in a lifetime combination of talent, crime, arrogance, winning, and hostility. FACT. I miss them. FACT.

Someone broke into NBA player/lunatic Stephen Jackson’s home with a gun, locked his wife in a bathroom, and stole items from the home. FACT. Someone didn’t know who lived in that house, because you DO NOT mess with Mr. Jackson. He is not a peace maker. FACT, confirmed by David Stern.

SportsCenter is using bizarre camera angles and anchor placements during broadcasts. FACT. I do not need to see Robert Flores on the catwalk above the set looking down on me like a gargoyle in a bell tower. FACT.

SportsCenter is running their 'My Wish' series this month, featuring sick children. FACT. These absolutley kill me. FACT.

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