By announcing that it is outlawing paid prioritization, the FCC is declaring that equal treatment is discriminatory.

Even if a service is available to all at the same price, which some might think is the essence of NON-discrimination, anyone who does not want to pay for the extra can protest, and apparently have the service destroyed.  The Internet equivalent of Express Mail is illegal, and so is the Internet equivalent of the Fourth Class book rate, because the existence of such as a lower-priority service would mean that other services were being given priority.

But one group is whooping it up — the 2,000+ members of Federal Communications Bar Association. A Net Neutrality proposal full of undefined terms, muddled thought, and pompous appeals to vague feel-goodism is a giant piñata chock full of the greatest of all goodies for the legal profession — unlimited billable hours!  If words such as “discriminatory” lose all content, then the amount of time that can be billed to argue about their meaning is infinite.

So Merry Christmas, guys and gals! After all, working 12 hours on Christmas Day to write chin-tugging Memos to Clients on What It All Means is a small price to pay for the bonuses in store next year.

And the image of the Unicorn for the piñata is particularly apropos, because the FCC proposal is populated by many mythical beasts.

[Cross-posted at Digital Society]