It’s kind of cool that we can see and share our friends’ music on Pandora using the Facebook “like” feature. I don’t mind my friends seeing what I like and don’t like if I choose to share it. The more we get to know one another via social media, the easier it is to trust each other.

This social web does not come without cost though. An EFF post about Facebook privacy settings really drove home the implications of Facebook’s new agenda to change how we perceive the web. If you are a Facebook user, be prepared to accept this doozie:

When you connect with an application or website it will have access to General Information about you. The term General Information includes your and your friends’ names, profile pictures, gender, user IDs, connections, and any content shared using the Everyone privacy setting. … The default privacy setting for certain types of information you post on Facebook is set to “everyone.” … Because it takes two to connect, your privacy settings only control who can see the connection on your profile page. If you are uncomfortable with the connection being publicly available, you should consider removing (or not making) the connection.

Wait, what?

So check it: that means when I connect to a site with a “like” button, they get access to everything about me, including those pictures I took in Cabo at my friends. Gah. That’s no good. So one would think I could go to Account–>Privacy Settings–>Applications and Websites–>and opt out of the “Instant Personalization Pilot Program”. Now, those sites won’t have access to my info so they can personalize their stuff around it, right?

Wrong. Here’s something my friend Whurley pointed out. Just because you opt out, it doesn’t mean your friends have. This program gives these sites access to your stuff by accessing your friends too. Your mom can Facebook “like” a key lime pie on Epicurious, and that simple action gives that site access to all of your infosimply by association (assuming your mom is your Facebook friend, of course).

Don’t believe me? When you opt out of the program, Facebook warns you to “please keep in mind that if you opt out, your friends may still share public Facebook information about you to personalize their experience on these partner sites unless you block the application.”

So now I can’t just use Facebook, I have to proactively block these sites from having access to my information (here’s how). That seems labor intensive and well, just gross.

Is Facebook having that hard a time monetizing that they have to sell our Rolodexes without asking our connections’ permission? Can’t we just all pay $5 a year and be done with it? What’s going on here?

[Editor’s Note: Michelle cross-posted this to her personal blog. –mrh]