We all get annoyed from time to time by our friend’s arrogant status updates on sites like Facebook and Twitter, but is this enough to make you want to cut someone out of your life altogether?

For a lot of people, apparently it is. As many as 20% of social media users have shied away from meeting someone in person as a result of cyber-fighting on social media sites, according to a new survey from corporate training firm VitalSmarts. Even more common than that is blocking people or deleting friends – of the 2,698 people surveyed, just over two in five admitted to doing so on at least one occasion in response to their friend’s annoying comments.

This doesn’t really comes as that much of a surprise, when the general sentiment is that social media sites are becoming increasingly hostile places to network in. A staggering 88% of those surveyed agreed that people were less polite online than they are in face-to-face situations, while three out of four have been involved in or witnessed a cyber-fight between friends. Furthermore, 75% agree that rudeness on social media has increased over the last few years.

According to VitalSmarts, one of the biggest problems that results from this rising online hostility is that conflicts that begin on social media are often left unresolved, meaning that those who do fall out tend to stay “fallen out” for good.

Joseph Grenny, Chairman of Vital Smarts, summed up the reasons for this increased hostility online:

“Social media platforms allow us to connect with others and strengthen relationships in ways that weren’t possible before. But sadly, they have also become the default forums for holding high-stakes conversations, blasting polarizing opinions and making statements with little regard for those within screen shot. We struggle to speak candidly and respectfully in person, let alone through a forum that allows no immediate feedback or the opportunity to see how our words will affect others.”

The guiltiest parties in cyber-fights tend to be the younger generation. VitalSmarts found that people aged under 30 were four times more likely to have emotionally charged conversations on social media than those from the Baby Boomers generation.

We’ve also seen several examples in recent weeks of celebrities losing the plot on social media too. Soccer players in the UK for example, have become notorious for venting their frustrations on Twitter, clashing with fans and rival players alike. Just two weeks ago, Joey Barton, one of UK soccer’s most opinionated personalities who currently plays in France, caused outrage in that country when he took to Twitter after a match, labeling Paris St. Germain’s Brazilian defender an “overweight ladyboy” and various other names.

What’s Behind The “Keyboard Warrior” Mentality?

The one thing that VitalSmart’s study failed to address was probably the most pressing question – why are people so much ruder online than in real life?

Psychologists are probably the best people to address this question, but I’d venture a guess that a lot of it has to do with social norms, or rather, a lack of them (in cyberspace). In the real world, there’s a certain set of behaviors that are considered acceptable in social settings – depending on where that setting is. For example, we behave differently in business meetings versus a pub with friends, and again we act differently in front of our parents. This suggests that it’s the environment we’re in and people we’re with that subconsciously dictates how we behave. Both of these are lacking on social media, where we’re usually just sat staring at a computer screen.

Essentially, there’s a lack of social media norms or “knowing how to behave online”. After all, social media is a new thing; until recently most people didn’t spend their time chatting on Facebook, they read newspapers and talked on the phone instead. Coupled with the ease of expressing yourself online, it becomes all too easy to behave in a reckless manner without paying attention to social norms.

There’s also something similar to the Asian concept of “face” on social media sites, where many people like to present an enhanced image of themselves.

In an interview with the Wall Street Journal last year, Keith Wilcox, assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School, says that people try to nurture a positive image on Facebook because the encouragement they get in the form of “likes” boosts their self-esteem. This would be all well and good, if not for the fact that the more inflated our ego becomes the worse we are at exercising self-control.

“Think of it as a licensing effect: You feel good about yourself so you feel a sense of entitlement,” says Wilcox. “And you want to protect that enhanced view, which might be why people are lashing out so strongly at others who don’t share their opinions.”

For more information on how rude we’re becoming online, check out the infographic below: