Just like everyone else here at SiliconAngle, I have been asked (no, ordered) to do a predictions post for 2010.  That being said, we all know that everything in the tech world is open to interpretation.  So at the end of the day that means that no matter what I say or what actually transpires in reality, somebody will read this, get really pissed off about something, and proceed to hop on Twitter and call somebody a douchebag.  It’s a done deal.

Here we go:

Google: Will expand its business into another market of some type.  Could be fast food, could be burial plots. I don’t know what, but they will.  The only guarantee is that whatever it is, it will really piss off Steven Hodson.  Oh, and Google will continue to have a lot of money.

Microsoft: Will still be the most dominant force in the conventional computing market, continuing to run rings around everybody in terms of OS usage.  Also, the world will continue to be indifferent to Bing, and slam Steve Ballmer, while still not having the guts to admit that for some reason it finds him strangely endearing.

Apple: Steve Jobs will buy more black turtlenecks.  He will also continue to act aloof as his company continues to sell what are now truly PC’s in every sense of the word at inflated prices.  Apple will continue to keep its products so locked down (particularly OS X) that it still won’t have a significant gain in overall market share in 2010 and the fanboys will continue to wonder why as they camp out for a week in front of the Apple Store for whatever the “next big thing” supposedly is.  Staying true to its mission, Apple will choose to remain a cult in 2010 in lieu of being a company.

Yahoo: Will still suck.

Linux: “There’s always next year.”

Elections 2010: Every tech pundit on the planet will try to put their “smart hat” on (which actually looks more like a helmet) and try to debate the policy blogging crowd for the entire run-up to the 2010 midterm, just as they did in 2008. As I have said before, they do this in a never ending search for mainstream respectability and to try to prove that they can exist outside of their fishbowl.   This ploy will again fail miserably as the tech pundits again learn that a fish that jumps out of his bowl is usually stepped on.  (Ask Scoble. I step on him more than a sidewalk, and he always concedes in the end.)

Facebook: Everyone on the whole damn planet, whether we know them or not will continue to send us all Farmville invites or some other stupid game.  All the while, absolutely none of us has actually figured out why in the hell we need Facebook, or why this BBS-rehash of a company is supposedly worth so much damn money.

Twitter: Although smaller in Farmville in numbers, people will pontificate on it incessantly and it will crash. A lot.  And when it does, it will take Pete Cashmore’s entire content base with it.

Friendfeed: See Elections 2010.

Mashable/Pete Cashmore: Will continue to make something out of less than nothing, (See Twitter) while continuing to burn a hole in his Visa card at the local 80’s thrift shop.  You go, Crockett.  How about spending some of that money on Rosetta Stone English?  Just a thought.

Arrington/TechCrunch50/who cares: Whether there is an actual TC50 in 2010 or not won’t matter, because somebody will come up with something similar, and the entire techno-sphere will cover it.  Worse yet, Mark Hopkins will ask me to cover it, and I will consider suicide as I watch an endless stream of boobs in t-shirts and blazers try to reinvent the wheel.  A pox on your house, Mark.   As for Arrington and his ventures, they will continue to be profitable, but will never quite make enough money to afford Mike the personality transplant he so desperately needs.

Loren Feldman/1938 Media: Will be accused of saying or doing something which he did not, while continuing to treat his audience like crap. (And we’ll all love him for it).  Loren is the “bad boyfriend” of the web, and he’s got it down to a science.

Mark Hopkins/SiliconAngle: Will continue to refer to himself as “Rizzn”, despite the fact that using the name of an anime character when you are over 30 and married with two kids is just plain creepy. [Editor’s Note: The name Rizzn doesn’t come from an anime character. –mrh]  Nonetheless, SiliconAngle’s presence on the web will increase exponentially, mostly because of me, because I am freaking awesome.

That should about cover it.  See you in 2010, gang!