I’m ashamed to say that I continued to watch the Streamy’s, an online award show for streaming media that played live this weekend, long after it became abundantly clear that this was a plane headed for a mountain. As a producer of streaming events, I tuned into the show to see what can be done with a sizable budget, a year to plan, the support of the talent agents, celebs, corporate backers and a fantastic venue.  The debacle opened with understandable tech glitches … and quickly went down from that high point.

Vulgar, unfunny, unwatchable, and unforgivable – The Streamy’s 2010.

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like to turn the cameras on YouTube commenters – this was it.

The entire show was one fixable mistake after the other. I really wished they had run credits at the end so I know who to NEVER hire. How could the producers not be monitoring the live online feed of an award show about online video? If they had bothered to plug into the show they would have heard the basement quality audio complete with tech crew chatter all night long. They might have told the audio techs to turn off mics that weren’t being used or may have rode levels that went from the inaudible to blaring. It’s called basic quality control people. The shocking part is the level of the players here. Big corporate sponsors got dragged through this sludge and will probably think twice before supporting another grand show.

Nice going Academy of Web Television – you’ve made us remember why junior high school was such a nightmare. You had the biggest stretch Hummer on your prom night and threw Old Milwaukee beer cans all over the street then proceeded to puke in my alley. The shame of it all is that you don’t even have the decency to hose down the sidewalk with an apology the morning after.

According to the Streamy’s website, production partners included AEG Digital Media – generally regarded as a powerhouse and very professional outfit. I usually love their work, I can’t explain what happened at this show. The crane work even reeked – did they have the interns run this? My guess is that no one directed the show or didn’t communicate with production- so I’m letting AEG off the hook. At some point production crew picks up on the cues from the producers and probably just went limp.

According to the Academy of Web Television site, they are an “elite team of complete professionals who gather to celebrate quality and excellence in web programming.” I swear, I’m not making this up! From their site:

…founded in 2008 to promote and recognize artistic excellence and technological innovation in the Web television and digital entertainment industries. Members of the Academy have achieved excellence in their respective fields, and include actors, agents, composers, content developers, directors, journalists, producers, technology innovators, and writers who actively participate in and support the Web television and digital entertainment industries.

The Academy oversees the selection of nominees and winners of the annual Streamy Awards, which honor and recognize excellence in original episodic Web television programming. Founding members of the Academy include representatives from a consortium of new media companies.

With a Mission Statement Like That, What Could Go Wrong?

Well you’ve managed to somehow do the exact opposite on all levels. So this is a group of excellent achievers who are plugged into our intertubes better than you and I. So let’s go to the official IAWtv Twitter feed to see how the pro’s do it – Oh wait, last updated on March 26th, we just get – Only 16 days to go until the 2010 @StreamyAwards!

At least a few of the ‘board’ members of the IAWtv are sounding off about this mess: George Ruiz tweeted during the proceeding, “Wow. Epic technical fail at the @streamyawards led to time filling by streakers.” Poor Felicia Day had to Tweet her dismay, “Sorry to our fans who were offended by raunchiness at the Streamys.The tone of humor was not honoring the evening IMO.”

Now let’s talk a bit about how to win one of these prestigious awards, the whole reason people flew thousands of miles to be in the theater last night. You join the IAWtv ($90/ year) then you get other members to vote and you too can win a trophy. As evident by how well they know quality production, you should really trust this fine org. What do I know, my last two streaming events only had 2 Million viewers, produced on a budget less than one tank of gas for the luxury bus used to bring in the stars for the show.

The ever-nice, never a bad word to say, iJustine took to her blog to vent –

As much as it pains me to even write about this show I attended last night, I feel I need to because I owe all of you who watched because I told you to an apology. I left this event feeling confused, embarrassed and a bunch of other emotions that I still have yet to put my finger on.

As a web content creator, this show last year was a huge step in the right direction for web video producers.. and now, sadly.. back to step one.

I don’t think we’ve seen such universal agreement on this pathetic implosion since the Sarah Lacey / Mark Zuckerberg SxSW intervew, as you can see for yourself in the #streamyfail stream.

Some highlights of the lowlights:

@Travelightly #streamyfail a perfect example of just because you CAN talk dirty, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Produced by 12 yr old boys in the bathroom.

@TonyaJ #streamyfail, has anyone in charge of the Streamys made a statement yet?  The aghastness has gone viral overnight. (nope) @Indie_Intertube: Apologies 2 those who were expecting class & respect for your medium. Your passion and hard work deserves far better #webseries #streamyfail

The good news: no one we’re close to was anywhere near The Streamy’s last night. This is old media people trying to pretend they know the new construct of socially innovative net communications. Save a (very) few recognizable faces, you can keep your slimy, filthy Hollywood mits of my intertubes.

I tried to search for a word that summed up the sentiment for those of us who do live streaming and strive to elevate the medium to see this giant waste of cash, energy and attention. It’s difficult to do, but thanks to a different Google service – define: – I think I’ve found it.

Disquieted: 

1.) To have been caused mental discomfort; “the disquieting sounds of nearby gunfire or unmuted microphones.”

2.) To have been afflicted or marked with anxious uneasiness, trouble or grief; “too upset to say anything”; “distressed at the prospect of never finding a confident advertiser for another live online video event for the rest of human history”

Thank you, Streamys.