Larry Ellison talked on stage today, squinting his eyes at a desktop and laptop screen to show the new social marketing tools Oracle has developed.

I have so many questions after listening to Larry. My first question, though, is to all of us:

How do you cut through this crap?

I’ve heard the same inward looking themes from the big vendors all week. It’s all about big hardware with software thrown in the mix. But Oracle takes first prize for pure ridiculousness.

Larry stood on stage showing that the new Oracle platform can do everything. You can put a store on Facebook. It allows a customer to look at data for feedback. Negative comments can be directed to customer support. Of course it is built on an Oracle database.

Is this new? It’s integrated through Service Oriented Architectures (SOA). I’d say that is surely seven years old but it’s not new.

Larry says you build on Oracle, you get your own virtual machine and it is separated from other customer data.

How often do Amazon Web Services customers get their data mixed up with others? Has it ever happened? No. AWS has never had a major security break, nor has Salesforce.com or NetSuite.

Larry says you get the capability to extend apps to the cloud to what you run on-premise. You can connect apps on-premise to cloud and do it gracefully.

Wait. There is no cloud here. Oracle’s cloud strategy is for you to buy a new appliance that you can use to make Facebook pages. That is nothing new. It may be seven years old. But it is nothing new.

Larry says they are eight years ahead of SAP.

“I do not think they will make it. I do not know how you start now for the cloud,” Larry said. “I just look at how long it took us to do it. This was the most difficult thing we have ever done.”

It must have been. It’s one of the greatest and most expensive challenges for any legacy software company to port old software onto new proprietary machines.

AWS launched EC2 eight years ago. By 2007, it had 330,000 developers using the platform.

Perhaps a better question for Larry: “Why did it take Oracle seven years to build something that is nothing more than a souped up enterprise suite?”

Answer that question, Larry, and then we can start talking.