Google Glass. 

Born 2011 at Google X Lab, Mountain View, California.

Died: January 15th, 2015 Mountain View, California. 

Glassholes across the world today mourned the passing of Google Glass, Google Inc.’s failed attempt at wearable smart eyewear.

First prototyped by Google’s X lab in 2011, the smart eyewear was first tested by “Explorers” who the company also called “Pioneers” (the program was modelled on The Oregon Trail,) then briefly went on sale to the general public for five minutes on April 11th, 2014.

Google Glass promised many things, but in its brief and over-hyped lifespan achieved only one thing of note: the creation of the word “Glasshole” and its subsequent inclusion on a page at the esteemed academic journal and chronicler of the English language The Urban Dictionary.

Sadly due to an aversion to Right to Die laws by Google management, the death of Google Glass came slowly and painfully, with developers and others abandoning the by then already terminally ill smart eyewear in November 2014.

Like some who deal with the tragic loss of a loved one, Google failed to cope with the news and instead went into denial, claiming instead that Google Glass was “graduating from Google[x] labs,” in a similar fashion to how the religiously inclined believe that when they depart from the world their souls will go to heaven.

A son of Google Glass though may be forthcoming, with the remnants of the Google Glass development team reporting to former CEO of Nest Tony Fadell, who told the BBC that he was excited to be working with the team “to integrate those learnings into future products”.

Details of the funeral service and public memorial for Google Glass were not available at the time of writing.

Requiescat in pace Google Glass.

photo credit: Thomas Hawk via photopin cc