In a gendered world, many traits historically associated with women often have to do with caring for others — nurturing, compassionate, empathic, intuitive. Worthy as these attributes are, traditionally they have not always been considered appropriate in the workplace, where to show emotion is to show weakness.

That was, until a pandemic hit the world.

“All of a sudden, it’s been this huge wave … more and more leaders are understanding that their own well-being and the emotional health of their employees is non-negotiable,” said Nataly Kogan, founder and chief executive officer of Happier Inc. “Not just for survival of their businesses, but if they want to be at their best and actually figure out how to thrive in whatever the future holds.”

Kogan spoke with Lisa Martin, host of theCUBE, SiliconANGLE Media’s livestreaming studio during the recent Women Transforming Technology Conference. She discussed how COVID-19 is changing workplace interactions and the importance of emotional health for business success.

Also joining Martin in separate interviews were conference organizers Betsy Sutter, chief people officer of VMware Inc. and Shanis Windland, vice president of diversity and inclusion at VMware Inc. Wt2 event speakers Charmaine McClarie, McClarie Group president and professional certified coach, and Jo Miller, chief executive officer of Be Leaderly and women’s leadership speaker, also spoke with Martin. Their conversations covered topics such as the difference between a mentor and a sponsor, as well as the steps to define yourself and become noticed in the workplace. (* Disclosure below.)

Transforming the Women Transforming Technology conference

For the previous four years, the conference had been held in the tranquility of VMware’s Palo Alto, California, headquarters, where between 500 and 1,000 women gathered to network and share knowledge. This year’s conference was very different. More than 5,000 attendees from more than 30 countries around the globe logged on for an engaging and interactive experience.

“There were chat rooms, and there were Q&A rooms. So, there was a lot of back and forth in real time even while the speakers were talking,” Sutter said.

“People were super positive and cheering each other on … it was an incredible experience,” Windland added.

Keynotes recorded from home gave a more low-key and accessible feel to the speakers. Getting a sneak peek into the households of actress, director and film producer Laura Dern and digitalundivided Chief Executive Officer Kathryn Finney was “an amazing experience for me. It felt like I was there with them just having a conversation, which was so cool,” Windland said.

Making it even more real, when Finney spoke, “she had a four-year-old in the background. [It] was super fun, and really landed their conversations with us even more solidly,” Sutter said.

That the virtual conference became a social gathering marks the successful transition of a previously physical event into the digital realm. And it seems an apt proof of concept for the transformational power that women can have in the workplace, and the world.

Lack of motivation is a side effect of increased stress levels

Making the world a Happier place is Nataly Kogan’s goal, but it is not the human brain’s goal, she pointed out.

“Your brain’s No. 1 job isn’t to keep you happy; it is to help you survive … fight or flight, we know that response,” she said. But under the current crisis, everyone is in limbo and the brain is struggling to establish if it’s safe or not. This is causing a tremendous emotional stress and motivational problems, according to Kogan.

Compassion for co-workers and employees and taking the pressure off and acknowledging needs outside of work is important during the pandemic, Kogan added. She has a three-step process, known by the acronym A.C.T., to help leaders make the workplace a more inclusive and cohesive environment.

A is for acknowledge: “Acknowledge your own challenges, acknowledge your team’s challenges,” she said. C is for care. “Genuinely care. So don’t just do it as a check mark. Bring your humanity and compassion, and actually care about people.” T is teach by example. “So do the things that you want your employees to follow,” Kogan added.

Here’s the complete video interview with Nataly Kogan:

Will we ever go back to how we worked before COVID-19?

The success of the virtual conference had Sutter wondering if the new way of connecting wasn’t an improvement on the physical.

“The diversity, the eclectic-ness of the women that were able to join from around the world … it just up-leveled everything,” she said.

As VMware’s Chief People Officer, Sutter has her finger on the pulse of the company’s workforce. “Yesterday alone, I think I did six town halls and two ask-me-anything’s just to make sure we know what’s on top of people’s minds, what’s important to them,” she said.

And the response to working remotely has been overwhelmingly positive. “Over 70% said they felt, if not the same amount of connection, more connection with each other working in a distributed fashion,” Sutter said. “COVID-19’s brought that to life … we’re going to work in a new way. It’s a new business model.”

Here’s theCUBE’s interview with Betsy Sutter:

Pandemic worn you down? Take a break, says VMware

It’s easy to dismiss the effects of the pandemic on tech workers who established telecommute routines prior to the pandemic. But working under COVID-19 isn’t normal working from home.

“This is working from home, not having help, dealing with homeschooling, still trying to succeed at work, and a variety of other things,” Shanis Windland said.

It is important for managers to have empathy and offer support for workers feeling burned out or disengaged due to COVID-19-related stress, according to Windland.

“VMware announced pandemic leaves for all of their employees to allow exactly that. If you need to take a break, take a break. No questions asked,” she said.

The company is also sponsoring activities that foster connection and offer a diversion from the stress of daily life. These include virtual coffee meet-ups and parties. “We did a sort of variety show as an all-hands and had 20,000 employees calling in to it,” Windland said.

Like Sutter, she sees the change becoming a permanent, and positive, part of the company’s structure. “It’s been this huge impetus to grab onto this as an opportunity to build the future of the company to tap into new talent pools and to really embrace how and where our employees want to work,”she said.

Here’s Shanis Windland’s full interview:

Mentoring good, sponsorship better

There are plenty of talented, experienced, and naturally compassionate women ready to step up as empathy gains importance as a management trait. Yet, the business world has only recently seen an uptick of women in leadership positions, with a recent McKinsey report identifying one’s initial promotion to managerial roles as the biggest obstacle.

The problem is that women believe working hard and being the best at their job will get them a promotion. Unfortunately, the opposite is often true, according to Miller.

“Being indispensable in your current role won’t move your career forward,” Miller said.

In her book “Woman of Influence,” she lays out the steps for women to build their personal brand and be recognized for their contributions to the company. “Reinvent and reimagine how you want to be perceived as a leader,” she said. “What’s that new value proposition that you have to offer in this changed world that’s going to continue changing.”

Many women seek mentors to help them climb the corporate ladder. A better tactic is to attract the attention of a sponsor, according to Miller.

“[Sponsors] go beyond giving the feedback and the advice in order to bring their accumulated political and social and career capital to move your career forward within an organization,” Miller said. “Mentors will certainly talk to you, but a sponsor is someone who will talk about you.”

Women should take a self-inventory and know the unique skills they bring to the table; the problems only they can solve; and what leadership gaps they can fill, Miller explained. “Sponsorship is not something that you would probably go and directly request; it’s something that you earn,” she said. 

Here’s the complete video with Jo Miller:

Define yourself, or others will do it for you (and probably get it wrong)

Women seeking promotion would do well to listen to the advice of leadership coach Charmaine McClarie: 98% of her clients have been promoted within 18 months of taking her training. She agrees with Miller that women need to elevate their visibility and highlight the value that they bring to the organization.

“What you want your organization to understand is what is it that you see that others don’t see,” she said. “That is a part of your value proposition; how are you going to help your organization innovate through this time.”

There are three questions that McClarie asks all her clients: How do you see yourself? How do other people see you? And, how do you want to be seen?

“When you’re able to become introspective and answer those questions from the heart, then you can get really clear about what you want the world to know about you and how you want to show up,” she said. “If you don’t define yourself, others will, and their definition is inadequate. When you define yourself and you know who you are and what you stand for, you can then shout that at the top of your lungs.”

But, she added, “You don’t really have to, because your actions will speak very clearly about what it is, and who you say you are, and how you want the world to see you.”

Here’s the complete video interview with Charmaine McClarie, part of SiliconANGLE’s and theCUBE’s coverage of the Women Transforming Technology Conference. (* Disclosure: TheCUBE is a paid media partner for the Women Transforming Technology Conference. Neither VMware, the sponsor for theCUBE’s event coverage, nor other sponsors have editorial control over content on theCUBE or SiliconANGLE.)

Photo: SiliconANGLE