Apple caused a bit of a stir yesterday when it announced that its iWork productivity software for Mac and iOS devices would be available to download for free. This was immediately taken as a shot at rival Microsoft and its own Office productivity suite – the undisputed leader to be sure, but also very expensive – with some bloggers even going as far as to suggest that Apple had “declared war” on Microsoft.

Well, guess what? Microsoft apparently didn’t take it too well, dismissing iWork as just a collection of “struggling, lightweight productivity apps” that don’t even come close to threating Office’s dominant position.

The scathing attack came in post written by Microsoft’s VP of Communications Frank Shaw on the TechNet blog today. During his rant, he also leapt to the defense of its Surface products which were also heavily criticized by Apple.

The Surface Gets Things Done – iPads Don’t

Apple’s CEO Tim Cook likes to argue that hybrid machines like the Surface show that its rivals are confused, but according to Shaw, this approach is in fact one of the Surface’s biggest strengths:

“[The Surface] is single, simple, affordable device that helps you both lean in and kick back,” he writes.

In other words, what Shaw is trying to say is Microsoft isn’t confused at all, it’s giving people exactly what they want – i.e. a touchscreen device with a physical keyboard which allows users to both work and play. By contrast, the iPad really isn’t something to get work done on, argues Shaw.

Apple Knows Nothing About Productivity

According to Shaw, no one understands productivity better than Microsoft does, as illustrated by the long and successful history of its Windows and Office software.

“We created the personal computing revolution by giving people around the world a low-cost, powerful, easy-to-use device that helped them accomplish an unbelievable array of tasks,” writes Shaw.

Once again, Shaw is re-emphasizing his earlier point. While iPads are good for killing time, Microsoft’s tablets offer the best of both worlds, allowing people to get things done and keep themselves entertained in their off-time.

iWork is “Watered Down”

In his most stinging attack, Shaw argues that there’s simply no comparison between Microsoft’s Office suite and iWork, which is a “watered down” version at best. As such, Apple’s move to make iWork free for all users barely even registers, given that so few people actually use it anyway.

“When I see Apple drop the price of their struggling, lightweight productivity apps, I don’t see a shot across our bow, I see an attempt to play catch up,” he writes.

Shaw’s rant is amusing in many ways. He tries to be dismissive of Apple’s comments yesterday, pretending that Microsoft doesn’t care and isn’t really worried, but if that’s the case why launch such a vitriolic attack? No doubt too, his claim that the iPad “isn’t a productivity machine” will raise a few chuckles from the numerous people who do, in fact, get plenty of work done on it.

Clearly, Apple touched a nerve over at Redwood yesterday – but then that’s hardly surprising given that way Microsoft has been frantically throwing money around over the last 18 months or so in its desperation to catch up in the tablet space. And this little rant today has only made it look even more desperate.